The Cat and the Canary in the Coalmine

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

He worked hard to get his position. He fought through so much and finally got away from his father, but with every day that went by he could hear the accursed man's laughter in the back of his head. The corruption ran deep. The whole thing had gone rotten. Systems that had been put in place had been eroded by nepotism, under-the-table money, and blind loyalty to the other boys in blue.

Alex had enough. He could feel his skin burning with his rage, as even now his reports have been 'lost'. If his bosses think they had cowed him, they made the common mistake of underestimating him. He sat in his cubicle or went out to investigate, keeping his head low and biding his time.

Meanwhile at home he worked on a different investigation. He remembered stumbling across a rather interesting hitman some years prior, one of the many with rules about who they would not hunt. This man, however, had a discount on scum, even if that hadn't been exactly the same wording used. He'd taken mental note about it and moved on at the time, doubting he could afford that since he decided to take a job in something extremely dangerous with awful pay that generally kept him too drained to do much in the way of coding at home. Having certain reports ignored was taking it's toll, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer under so much corruption; he spent too many sleepless nights staring at his service pistol, not sure what impulse felt stronger.

 

He started spending those nights tracking down that one hitman again. It took entirely too long, but finally he sends a message.

 

I need your help. Police corruption is blocking investigation on a Mr. Furest. Children are involved.
 

He signs with his contact information, none of which are traceable back to any real, or at least living, person. He made sure to cover his tracks, just to prove he at least isn't some random kid trying to cause trouble. He steps away from his laptop in his small apartment to drop on the couch and check the news of the day, hoping there would be a ping alerting him of a response sooner rather than later.

Comments

[monsieurnoir]

"That is true. It's helpful to have connections like that." He has more than just Teddy as a contact, Felix has contacts in a lot of countries. Anything like that that will help him do his job, he's managed to pull together a pretty decent network.

Felix is considering for a long moment. "Call him. Have him come. I'll do this but I have conditions. I'll explain when he gets here so he knows the line that way I don't have to do it twice." There were things Felix won't allow anyone to dig into. He has secrets from his life in Paris and London. Things that aren't his to share but that he must protect at all cost...

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex sends Mikel a quick message and smiles, "Of course. We don't want to dig. We just also don't want to be found out." He lays back into the seat, "Since that was my main question, we can just wait. He should be here soon. Do you want to sing?"

Alex was considering having just enough of one of those drinks to not be so nervous about singing that he loses his voice trying. Thirty minutes of just letting someone else sing, with only him sitting there was just too awkward. But he couldn't think of any idle chatter, he had always been bad at that. Then what drink would be just enough without taking long enough to hit him it would be almost as awkward to start as it would be to keep sitting there quietly. He silently hoped that Felix started talking about something at least vaguely interesting where he didn't have to figure out how to not make things really weird, all while offering him a microphone.

[monsieurnoir]

"I think it's the same for all of us. I want to keep doing my job but maintain my freedom.." He's reaching for he songbook and flipping through it idly. Felix is looking through the list for a song he knows. One that he can actually sing that is easily one he knows without needing the prompter. Once he finds one he's pressing in the numbers and setting the book aside before taking the microphone.

Rolling gracefully to hi feet he's loosening his tie, then his collars first few buttons - he's rolling his shirt up to his elbows showing off muscled bare arms with a few small tattoos peeking out. And then he' launching into that song and he may be playing up that flirty badboy charm he knows he has. Flirty smirks, winks, and oh yes the movements of his hips, the flex of muscles. Felix had always been a showoff, a showman, never did anything by halves..

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Excuse Alex as he gets lost in watching, drinking one of the alcohol cans, initially mistaking it for a soda, but then shrugging, deciding the spritzer wasn't all that bad. He sips at it while trying to not sweat watching Felix show off.

He's frankly stunned at... just about everything about this man. He had respect for those tattoos, having been tempted to get some to cover the most obvious of the scars but never getting up the nerve to let someone else mark him, even if it was to block out the worst of his past. Felix has scars of his own, but somehow they only seemed to make Alex want to feel those muscles with his own hands. He'd never seen a guy so fit without looking like a bear, and he could feel those winks making his heart skip a beat.

Maybe the song was right- he liked danger. The last person he loved had been 'the enemy' after all, even if he convinced her to their side. Felix wasn't some fellow keyboard artist like Kaylee, but he was an artist of a different kind. An artist of death. He resolves himself to remember that. Don't get too close. Don't make the same mistake you made with Kaylee.

But Felix could handle himself. He was more like Mikel it seemed so far, but with an actual moral compass of his own. And he wasn't sure he could actually stop himself from going that way if that was where things were headed.

[monsieurnoir]

Felix usually doesn't let his down and dirty side show this early on in his work but Alex is... There's something about him that makes Felix want to make him a stuttering flushed mess. That's exactly what he wants to do and he's going to do it starting now. Yes. Maybe it's a bad thing but he can't stop himself. He'll mull over the hows and whys later.

Maybe it was because it was fun and he's missed that. He missed having a cute guy to flirt with. He hasn't done that in a while. And Alex is cute, so cute and Felix might like that. He's moving toward him when the song ends offering him the microphone. "Want to take a turn, Officer Furest?" He teases softly moving closer to lean down over Alex. He's adorable and Felix can't help himself.

"I want to find out if you can sing, Alex." His voice dropped down into a husky baritone. "I'm very interested in it you see. Could I make you sing for me?"

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Well now it was time for an awkward boner. He's just glad he'd taken to wearing tighter boxers shaped so that one of those won't be quite nearly as recognizable. What was it about that deep bedroom voice that was making his stomach flip?

He was going to politely refuse for now, but Felix had made it a challenge. He flushes, downs the rest of the drink he had, and puts a song code into the machine. He liked these private rooms too because they allowed him to enjoy singing without having to stand in front of anyone.

He takes the mic, and "Titanium" begins to play. It starts out calm, allowing him to ease into it, but he hits every note with more emotion in his voice than even Sia managed. It sounded more mournful, but just as defiant, like he knows he can't stop but hates that he's the one to make them 'fall' further. The music video playing in the background, a kid who looked like he was trying to vibe the same as Alex's teen wardrobe, under attack for what he is, it always struck way too close to home, even if the reason for being hunted was much more complex. Those that knew anything about the CRP tended to distrust it's members because of the few highly publicised people who had been maligned as psychotic for trying to blow the whistle, and the even more public episodes of those who really did go mad either from the stress or happenstance. Get treated as insane and eventually you might start thinking you are.

The song ends and Alex swallows his own emotions, blinking away some tears that had been welling in his eyes and laughing, the blush on his cheeks spreading to his ears as he remembers that Felix was there. He looks away, passing the microphone to Felix while trying to advert his gaze so he didn't have to see his reaction. He mumbles, "I-I sang. 's yer turn," that stutter back again even though he didn't seem to even need to fight one the whole time he was singing.

[monsieurnoir]

Yes. Ye, he had sang hadn't he? And he's also crying. Felix's hand bypasses that microphone and he reaches up with both hands to frame Alex's face between them and brushes those tears away with his thumbs. "You did very well, Alex. You did so well, you sing beautifully." He's soothing him gently one of his hands moving to pet and stroke where he had before.

"Here come sit with me while I look for another song." He's guiding Alex to sit next to him, petting and stroking him gently along the back of the head and neck. "Hm, let's see what they have here that I know... " Felix is happy to idly talk as he flips through the song book with one hand.

"This is the problem with not listening to the top tens when I work. I'm an old fuddy Duddy with my set playlists and I rarely branch out."

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex laughs shyly, restrains his impulse to flinch and lets those warm hands hold his face. He sits down besides Felix, the touch surprising still at first but he soon settles into it. "They have a section of favorites. Songs most people know. It's the yellow section up front," he says, pointing to a yellow section sandwiched between a few other colors for recent releases, easy songs, difficult songs, and a few other commonly sought-after categories in karaoke. "Sometimes they have a c-classics section too, if that might help."

He's not sure he's ready to sing again, but he's taking another sweet alcoholic beverage, wanting that affirmation.

[monsieurnoir]

He's humming softly and flipping through to the classics. Clearly, he's thinking about this a bit. He needs something that will help Alex calm down. Something with a soft soothing instrumental. He knows a few so many, in fact, but he does know a few that helped him when he was a child when he used to get upset. After all his mother had sung him to sleep many times when he was ill or just cranky and wanting nothing to do with naps. He finds what he's looking for and closes the book gently before picking up the mic with on hand as he keys in the number.

The music starts softly, a piano. When Felix had decided on a classic he clearly had gone with a classic. Settling next to Alex he keeps petting his hair gently as he starts to sing but this time it's not in English though the words on the screen certainly are.

Why no, Felix is singing gently in French his eyes drifting closed. It's been a long, long time since he's sang in French but he knows somepeople find the sound of it pleasant so he'll just sing to Alex in French.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex follows along with the English to get the meaning, but he finds he gentle hand surprisingly comforting. Almost hypnotically soothing. Something about those gentle fingers reminded him of... something he can't quite remember. Regardless, he was enjoying it and was happy to just let it happen. He did find the French far more soothing, much softer than either language he speaks. He doesn't reach for the mic when the song is over, rather content to just let Felix continue singing.

[monsieurnoir]

Felix is just going to settle here and sing softly in French. He's tucking Alex against his side, just petting him and working his way thought all the lullabies he knows in French letting the music play through classical piano and violin songs. He's content to just do this and help Alex feel better.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex finishes his drink, but eventually starts feeling like singing himself. "You do have a-an amazing voice," he says between songs, "I..." He struggles to find the right way to phrase it, "C-could I sing again? I-I don't have to if my v-voice is annoying." He had a hard time believing the few people who have heard his voice and said it was amazing. Throughout his schooling, and with his father he had only ever been mocked. In high school he could have been competition on stage, and enough people realized teasing him would take him out of the running that he had fallen for it. He sang so rarely now it was uncommon for an unbiased person to even have a chance to hear his voice, let alone complement it.

[monsieurnoir]

"You reeally think so?" He's blinking at him before happily handing over the mic to him. "Of course, you can. You don't need my permission. You have a very nice voice and een if you didn't - A place like this isn't about sounding good of putting on a show. It's about having a good time." He's grinning at Alex. "So long as you're enjoying yourself, sing your heart out. I certainly wouldn't want to stop you." He's moving to lean back on the couch, "Do your thing."

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

He blushes a bit at the complement, taking the mic, not certain if he believed Felix. Even if he didn't he still planned on singing. He had asked, if he backed out now it would only probably upset Felix. So he takes the mic and flips to the song he had in mind, typing the code in. He has another drink as the intro plays, "The Ghost of You". When the song starts he channels a Billy Joel kind of feel to the vocals, adding a lot more true notes to the original grunge method of singing MCR uses in their music. The words are clear, and his voice carries a deeper level of pain than your average emo heartbreak song.

He's got tears in his eyes again by the end, but he's smiling, sniffing a bit. "S-sorry, I love those h-heavy songs." He passes the mic back to Felix. He kept his involvement with Kaylee secret. Felix would have to have some interesting sources to connect Alex to her, but there was a lost love somewhere in his past.

[monsieurnoir]

Felix is taking the mic gently at setting it aside before keying in a code for a song. Reaching into his suit jacket he's taking out and handkerchief; offering it to him. "It's fine. Here. It's fine to cry. I won't think less of you for it. You're a person after all."

He's considering a moment before going back to gently petting Alex. "It's better to get all that out anyway. Bottling it up isn't good for anyone. It just isn't healthy." He knows a thing or two about that. He's certainly loved and lost.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex nervously laughs, taking the handkerchief gratefully. "I know I hear i-it a lot myself, b-but you seem a bit young to have the same pain." He could see a hint of a shadow that mirrored his own grief over his lost love. However, he couldn't take back those words when he realizes he commented on something he should have no way of knowing. Well, Felix would find out soon enough.

He still hopes Felix doesn't ask about it just yet, but could only think to message Mikel to ask how long it would take him to get there. Felix's song comes on, and Alex nods to the screen, "Ah, your song's loaded!"

[monsieurnoir]

Felix hummed softly. "That's the thing about pain though. It doesn't care about age, Alex. No matter how young or how old. Pain just happens." There's a shrug of his shoulders as he leaned up, picking up his drink and taking a thoughtful drink of the iced tea.

Reaching out, the blond is picking up the mic. He's moving to his feet. Like Alex Felix had his past. In fact, it was exactly why he was here like this now. Why he took over an crime empire and starte taking justice into his own hands. But neither of them are ready for that conversation.

They're not close enough - Felix never told anyone about what happened to Luka who wasn't part of it. When he sings his song it's soulful, jazzy but it's obvious there's a lot of emotion behind it.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

ALex is mainly relieved that Felix doesn't seem to notice anything odd. People often thought he was good at reading people, but it's really their shadows that give him that insight. Every time he made a mistake he could feel his stomach flip in fear, praying people would make sensible excuses and not jump to super-powers.

He queues up a song for himself while listening to Felix sing. There were a lot of things they were not close enough to share, but they could share a lot without sharing much through music. Alex had always been one to speak through music, and he had a feeling Felix was no different. His love of music meant the biggest issue was finding a song that was actually in the song book, but after a few tries he found that a more unusual pop artist had gotten into the catalog with just the song he wanted to sing. The bottom corner flashes a confirmation notification that 'Alec Benjamin- Boy in the Bubble' has been added to the queue.

"I guess you're right, but most people have better fortune in their earlier years. Others seem cursed," he shrugs and shakes his head, "or maybe blessed. I-I don't know."

[monsieurnoir]

"Mmm." He murmured as his song ends and he's offering the mic to Alex. "That depends on how you define it. Some people would say I was very, very blessed." He had a good home, money, a family. Things like that. But...

"Maybe I'm not cursed but some times the people around me are less fortunate for knowing me." It was kind of the truth. He did after all blame himself for what all happened with Luka. Even if he hadn't known about the situation until it was too late. Felix would have stepped in. He would have done something.

But neither he or Luka knew the deep shit Asher Couffaine had gotten himself into. Shit that had cost Luka his life and he'd gotten no justice so Felix took it. He tookit and balanced the scales and then some. "Maybe I'm just some bad luck black cat."

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

"Money doesn't solve problems past a certain point," he says with a shrug. Sure a lock of money could surely make you miserable, but it didn't matter how much money you have if your social needs aren't being met. "Having to struggle makes you a s-stronger person, g-gives you the tools you need." He laughs a bit, "But I sometimes wonder if I'm an unlucky charm myself. Maybe we'll just counter the other's bad luck out."

He queues up 'Clint Eastwood' by the Gorillas, enjoying the shift in tone. He keeps glancing to Felix, using the music to get across how much he wanted to turn around the future. He felt impotent and useless tied down as he is by the rules, the unfair system, every obstacle in his path, but he wasn't going to allow himself to ever give up. He would change things, and they'd regret keeping him down.

[monsieurnoir]

"Exactly so. I have money but it didn't do much past a point." Luka still died. He still held him as he bled outon the street waiting for help. The people that did it got away scot free because no one wanted to go look into it. Luka was just some guy who worked at a bar, performed local gigs with a track record of being in fights. Anarka had pushed for an investigation but died before anything came of it. Juleka had been heartbroken and left Paris. Felix... Felix had done the same. He'd hunted the men down, wiped them out, and left. Especially when he found out they were part of a bigger organized crime branch.

He'd taken all of them down and taken over. All the way to the fucking top. But to do that... To do that he changed everything he was. He built up this whole other life from the ground up. The Felix Luka had known was dead and burned to ashes with all that had been left of the aspiring rockstar's broken body.

Felix hadn't been thinking when he keyed in the song he picked. He hadn't really given it any pause or actually consideration. Thoough when it does start Alex will notice that it's a slower version than the album release and... Felix seems to be changing the pronouns.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex could really appreciate the song as he restrains his desire to sing along. He was clearly a little surprised at the pronoun change, but smiles. He also wouldn't have thought Felix would be interested in other men, but he had never been good at reading that.

Even Alex had made great sacrifices and changes to who he was for someone else. Obviously police work is not his dream line of work, and he had made countless sacrifices trying to fight the CRP. But for him, more than anything else, this song seemed to him like a theme for Mikel and Loretta. He's just not sure how metaphorical it would be in Mikel's case. Maybe it would be just as it was with Felix- both. Even Alex could see how he restrained himself and dulled his fangs for Loretta even as he sharpens his claws. He made her morals his own, and while they still were not official Loretta had become so central in Mikel's life Alex couldn't see them apart. They had grown more distant since Alex joined the force, but only because it meant Alex wouldn't need to compromise his morals as an officer if he knew nothing about the white-collar crimes Mikel was committing. They still worked closely together, but now it was mostly digitally.

Loretta came around more, but for less time than she used to. Alex had grown up, she didn't have to mother him like she used to, but they both were busy enough juggling a 9 to 5 with leading a top-secret rebellion to have much time for socializing anyway. That constant feeling of loneliness had been what drove him to accept a bar invite by some of the other detectives. It had been what convinced him to wonder if a drink could really hide the pain. He learned after just one night that no, it was not. It wouldn't make anything better. But it did help him stop being so self-judgmental. Another drink is finished as Felix finishes his song with Alex mouthing the words with Felix while rocking with the music.

[monsieurnoir]

Luka had been Felix's first love, first kiss, first everything - It was all with Luka and he cherished it. He remembered calloused fingers moving over his cheek and jaw as the musician's other hand held him close by his tie. That stupid tie - Luka only liked it because it was 'handy' since he liked to tie Felix up or pull him closer by it; they'd even used it as a blindfold. They had met by accident and had fallen into a fast friendship that turned into more after one of Luka's gigs.

When the song was over, Felix is just standing there for a moment. Blinking. For a fleeting few seconds he could have sworn... He could have sworn he saw Luka leaning against the wall behind the sofa, smirking at him; smug and flirty as fuck all. But he was gone after that blink and Felix felt his heart clench. He can only hope Luka isn't pissed at him for what he's done in his name; what he's become.

"Right, uh.. Here." He's moving to sit offering the mic to Alex. Moving he's reaching for one of those non-alcoholic drinks and taking a sip. It's fine. He'll be fine. It might be because he's drank so much or the fact that he's got a bit of anxious energy building up waiting for Alex's friend to come and fuck with his head... Any sane person would be a bit uneasy. That must be it.

[afraid_of_my_shadow]

Alex sees Luka, standing there, just as Felix remembered him. His eyes widen but he manages to get a control of his reactions before Felix turns around. His eyes are still looking at Luka, even if Felix can't see him. That shadow must have been lurking in the background for Felix, but with that song, here he was, watching Felix with a beautiful pleasant emotion Alex wished he could read. He'd only seen a shadow like this once before. He had one of his own, and they are a terrifying type of shadow that could and would take lives.

It wasn't anything the human world wasn't familiar with. Suicides often came in threes- or at least that was the lore around them. Murders of passion, deaths in self defense from someone driven by their shadow to attack another person. It didn't mean that would happen for sure. Normally those shadows ease and lighten over time, and many people could get through them without incident. But this wasn't some new wound, this was an old, festering wound, a wound not healing. And Alex knew well how dangerous one so strong could be. He nervously puts a hand on Felix's back, gently rubbing it. "H-hey, it's okay. Y-you shouldn't run f-from those feelings."

A random Japanese song queues up and starts playing over some random anime scene while Alex puts the mic down. "F-frick waiting," he sighs, putting a hand on Felix's knee, "I can sense your pain, I c-can... see it. It's what I eat instead of food. I can see your..." he can't find the English word so he falls back to German, "Mutterseelenallein." He pushes a smile of comfort, "Tell me about him."

[monsieurnoir]

Hadn't he just told Alex something a long those same lines? So he's a bit startled to have his own words tossed back at him like that. Only three people in his life dared and one of them is dead. "What feelings I'm fine." It's default at this point. But Alex had been staring at where Luka was Felix didn't imagine that - right? He's pretty sure he wasn't. But he doesn't want to say anything straight off an sound fucking crazy either.

He's quiet mulling over the fact that Alex sai he ate pain? There's definitely some confusion. Maybe he's not the only questionably sane person in this room. Or maybe they're both very much sane. Because he's seen Luka before. Never as a danger, never as anything but just... fondly watching him? It's strange. For a long moment, he's just staring into his drink until Alex's hand is on his knee and he mentions seeing him. Not seeing his pain that kind of thing is obvious but seeing him.

It occurs to him that he may be misconstrueing what Alex is saying but honestly? Does it matter? It wouldn't be hard to find out about Luka. A few nice deep searches - the kind he knows Alex is capable of would pull up more than enough so is there a reason to make him wait to unlock the tragic backstory of how Felix Agreste, promising socilite who could do anything become a mob boss and contract killer, really?

He's pressing his lips together before he slumps back into the couch his head tipping back, eyes falling closed. "His name was Luka Couffaine. He worked at this shitty bar in Paris; played gigs on the side with with bass sometimes with a band. There was nothing about Luka that wasn't good. He just kind of went with the flow, easiest person to get along with as long as you were a decent fucking person."

Felix can feel a faint brush a ghosting of fingers through his messy hair and lifts his hand to follow that path; it's familiar. Luka used to do that all the time when he found Felix taking a break from pooring over this paperwork or that in the mornings after they spent a night together and Felix decided to work remotely the morning after just to bask in it all.

"He died. Unforturnately. His asshole druggie son of a bitch father got on the wrong side of the wrong people and I guess when they couldn't find Asher..." His jaw clenched and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. There's absolute silence then he takes a sharp shuddering breath. "I found him all fucked up - dying in a trashed out alley. I'd have paid off Asher's debts if I knew about it. I would have even blinked. I could've done it a dozen times over. Luka didn't have to die. We were dumb kids still just in our mid-twenties..."